we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ttyl tear gas
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
