went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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