I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
