he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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