I want to stick my p in your. b.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
