The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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