yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
