did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
