Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
