grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
