Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
