She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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