coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
