I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
