She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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