did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
why do cheetos always look like penises
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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