Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
