I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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