i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
