Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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