he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
