nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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