I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He shit in the fireplace
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
