Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
