so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
