was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I AM VODKA MAN
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
