help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
