So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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