everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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