You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
