Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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