I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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