I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
