I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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