i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am naked and annoyed.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
