living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
