is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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