it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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