I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
