It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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