he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
