last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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