also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
