david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
