just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize