I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
