Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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