I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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