i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
