Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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