i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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