got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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