im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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