i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
