just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
