She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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