he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
