Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
