I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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