And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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