yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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