do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
