you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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