We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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