wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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