Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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