when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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