What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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