i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
