When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
