not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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