No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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