PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
