He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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