I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
