this just has baby written all over it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
