the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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