the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
