I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
