Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
